A checklist for parents who are separated
Posted on 29th October 2019 at 17:33
It is easy to forget to consider the effect of separation on children, especially if you have a difficult relationship with your ex-partner.
You may feel concerned about your ex’s parenting abilities or worried about financial issues, feel worn down by arguments, or think you’ll never be able to overcome all the resentments in your relationship.
But it is important to appreciate the effect of your separation on your children to ensure that they have stability, security, and close relationships with both parents.
For the sake of your children’s well-being, it is important that you develop a cordial working relationship with your ex. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and resolve conflicts to enable your children to thrive.
1. Agree where your children will live.
2. Make a plan for how and when they will see both of you. Remember to talk about special occasions: decide how to arrange Christmas, birthdays and holidays.
3. Talk about how the children’s lives will be financed and decide who will pay for what (including any school fees).
4. Sort out how and when other family members such as grandparents will see the children.
5. Talk to your ex about the rules for raising the children to make sure that you are on the same page. A heart-to-heart with your ex may be challenging and emotional, but may help you resolve any problems. Try to remain sensitive and understanding to your ex as you discuss arrangements for the children.
6. Set hurt and anger aside so that you can stay focused on what is best for the children.
7. Carefully consider the practical arrangements for contact. To make packing simpler and make children feel more comfortable when they are at the other parent’s house, keep certain basics such as toothbrush, hairbrush, pajamas, at both houses.
8. Agree a parenting plan to set out what is agreed so that at more difficult times you can both refer to the plan and remind yourselves what you agreed for the benefit of the children.
Tagged as: Divorce & Family Law
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